Story: “Butch Casualty and The Son Of A Bitch Kid”

Following years of running wild, from Texas into Mexico…

pursued by the ruthless Texas Rangers…

and the ferocious Mexican Federalizes…

their horses dead, their bullets gone, their guns rendered useless…

Butch Casualty and The Son Of A Bitch Kid eventually found themselves…

cornered on a high mountain precipice…

overlooking a deep, dangerous gorge…

and a rabid, rushing river…

far, far below…

Butch rolled up a smoke and leaned back against the nearest boulder…

a bullet wound in his upper left arm, and buckshot in his ass..

The Kid, unhurt, squatted down to the ground, and with his hat brushed the dust from his boots…  

Butch: “Well Kid, looks like this is the end”…

Kid: “The end of what Butch”…?

Butch: “The end of what”…?

Kid: “Yeah, the end of what Butch”…?

Butch: “The end of everything Kid”…!

Kid: “The end of everything”…?

Butch: “Hell, you know what I mean”…

Kid: “No Butch, I don’t know what you mean”…?

Butch: “You know, the end of the road Kid, the end of us, the end of you and me”…!

Kid: “Well Butch, the end of you and me, that’s hardly everything”…

Butch: “Jesus Kid, you gonna start with your damn philosophy now”…?

Kid: “I’m just sayin’ Butch, you and me don’t really add up to much, the world will go on”…

Butch: “Not my world goddamn it”…!

Kid: “No, not your world Butch”…

Butch: “But that’s the only world I know Kid, the only world I give a damn about”…

Kid: “Well, maybe that’s your problem Butch”…

Butch: “What makes you think I got a fuckin’ problem Kid”…?

Kid: “Your complaining Butch, your whining, your discontent”…

Butch: “Discontent…?  I’ll show you discontent…!  I’ll throw your ass off this goddamn mountain Kid”…!

Kid: “Well Butch, who knows, that might be better than facing the Federalize’s Firing Squad”…

Butch: “No shit Kid, I can’t argue with that”…!

Kid: “No, you can’t argue with that Butch”…

Butch: “But you Kid, you can argue, with anything and every fuckin’ thing”…!

Kid: “What the hell are you talkin’ about Butch”…?

Butch: “Kid, you’re always goin’ on about crap you know nothin’ about”…

Kid: “Like what crap are you talkin’ about Butch, say what the hell you mean”…!

Butch: “You’re a big mouth Kid”…

Kid: “A big mouth Butch”…?

Butch: “Yeah, a big mouth Kid…!  You’re always raggin’ on other peoples choices; their ideas, their politics, their religion”…!

Kid: “Well Butch, sometimes you gotta push back against a storm of ignorance and insanity”…

Butch: “There’s your problem Kid, you think you’re smarter than everybody else, but you’re just an arrogant ass”…!

Kid: “No, it’s just that everybody else has no compunction about expressing their opinions, so why the fuck shouldn’t I”…?

Butch: “Cause your opinions are bullshit Kid, and you’re a godless twerp and a fuckin’ potty-mouth”…!

Kid: “A fuckin’ potty-mouth”…?

Butch: “A fuckin’ pissant potty-mouth…!  A dirty little boy, a nasty-ass cry baby, cause folks don’t see things your way”…!

Kid: “Ok Butch”…

Butch: “Ok what”…?

Kid: “Just, Ok”…

Butch: (under his breath) “Damn phony professor, fuckin’ philosopher, asshole atheist”…

Kid: “I heard that Butch”…

Butch: “Good, now maybe you’ll grow up and be a damn man Kid”…!

Kid: “Butch, if you take everything I say and do personally, it says more about you than it does about me”…

Butch ignores the Kid as he walks to the edge of the gorge, and briefly stares down to the depths below…

The Kid stands up, stretches his arms, looks across the gorge, far out over the valley…

Kid: “I can see the Federalizes comin’, I see the dust cloud of their horses”…

Butch: “Fuckin’ Federalizes”…! 

Kid: “Maybe we ought to jump Butch”…?

Butch: “I bet that river water’s damn cold down there, and those rocks, those goddamn rocks”…

Butch turns and walks away from the gorge’s edge, and once again leans back against the boulder…

The Kid now steps to the gorge’s edge, and begins to throw pebbles down the rocky cliffs…

Kid: “I said, maybe we ought to jump Butch”…?

Butch: “Yeah maybe we ought to jump.  I just can’t believe we’ve finally come to the end”…

Kid: “Hell Butch, you don’t seem to have any trouble believin’ in a lot of other shit”…?

Butch: “Oh there you go again Kid, with your anti-religious bullshit rant.  You better say your fuckin’ prayers pal”…!

Kid: “Well, it was bound to happen some day Butch”…

Butch: “What was bound to happen Kid”…?

Kid: “The end Butch”…

Butch: “Yeah, but fuck, I was lookin’ forward to tomorrow”…

Kid: “Well, there’s your other little problem Butch”…

Butch: “My other problem Kid”…?

Kid: “Yeah, your other problem Butch”…

Butch: “And just what the hell is my other fuckin’ problem Kid”…?

Kid: “Livin’ in the future man”…

Butch: “Livin’ in the future”…?

Kid: “Yeah, not livin’ in the Here & Now, not payin’ attention to today”…

Butch: “Not payin’ attention”…?

Kid: “Yeah, not payin’ attention”…!

Butch: “And just what the hell do you mean by that Kid”…?

Kid: “Butch, it was your idea to climb on top of this mountain, so you could be closer to God at the end”…

Butch: “You’re gettin’ ready to crap on my belief in Jesus and Heaven, aren’t you Kid, you son of a bitch”…!

Kid: “No Butch, sometimes I envy your faith, it must bring you comfort, especially at times like this”…

Butch: “Not really Kid, not really”…

Kid: “Why not Butch, you believe in a Here After don’t-cha, a Heaven, a Paradise, a Life After Death”…?

Butch: “Absolutely Kid, absolutely.  But I got a bullet in my arm and buckshot in my ass and a Firing Squad creepin’ up on me”…

Kid: “Yeah, life’s a bitch Butch, and then you die.  But hell man, I can’t even swim”…!

Butch: “You can’t fuckin’ swim”…?

Kid: “No, I can’t fuckin’ swim”…! (the Kid chuckles to himself)

Butch: “Well hell Kid, the fall will probably kill you”…!

Both Butch and the Kid chuckle to themselves, neither looking at the other…

Butch straightens himself up off the boulder, slowly moves behind the Kid, and pushes him off the mountain…

We hear the Kid’s screams echoing through the gorge…

Butch (under his breath) “Goddamn atheist”…

End.

(c) Billy Batson, Saber-Tooth Stories

Butch Casualty and The Son Of A Bitch Kid